[Some of that brave facade he put on when he opened the trunk falters a little when Oscar takes his hand. It takes him a moment, but he smiles and clasps his hand tight.]
[Dipper leads them up the stairs, staying a few steps behind the memory. The memory trudges on, swaying here and there. He walks past the first bedroom, which Oscar will know to be the current bedroom of the twins. He heads instead to the bedroom at the end of the hall. The one that's always been locked for as long as Oscar's known the Pines.]
[Memory Dipper pushes it open. Inside is a room with walls covered in broken, triangle-shaped windows. Red light from outside streams in, illuminating the floor, which is covered in broken glass. Along the walls are ...Dipper's bed and desk. This room used to belong to him.]
[Memory Dipper heads right in, dropping to his knees at the center of the room. The real Dipper stops at the door and tightens his grip on Oscar.]
...Grunkle Stan started locking the silverware drawer, so I guess, when that insane part of me needed to emulate the final sign, he thought: "Well, anything sharp will work, probably."
[Memory Dipper picks up a nasty shard of glass and just starts to laugh.]
cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out
Only good grip on Dipper's hand kept his body still, but he felt his heart quaking at all of the imagery that bore a semblance to Bill. The triangle windows that opened to a blood red sky only served as a chilling highlight to witnessing the younger, not fragile Dipper in the memory lumbering with apparent listlessness--
As if he had been affected by the Apathy. Or worse.
Oscar glanced down in surprise when Dipper's hand tightened around his, and he quickly darted his gaze upward to search for answers.]
You felt compelled to do it, didn't you?
[He asked without accusation.]
Dipper...
[Even if they had met any sooner, there was no stopping the inexorable chaos and destruction that was October.]
cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out
[No, there was nothing that could have been done, not when the Pines family themselves arrived so close to October.]
I was hallucinating. I was seeing him, I was hearing him speaking to me, taunting me, threatening me. I wasn't seeing my own actions. When I finally saw through the delusion, it was like being a stranger in my own skin. Something sinister had hold of me, something that ...I'm afraid is still there.
[Dipper falls quiet. Memory Dipper starts to rave like a lunatic about how "I won't let you hurt my family," and "I'll defeat you, just like we did last time." There's nothing there. His voice is strained and it barely sounds like him. After a moment he starts to laugh again, the glass shard still in his hand.]
[And then, with little warning, he shoves it into his right eye and screams.]
cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out
[Oscar flinched at the discordant scream. His grip tightened around Dipper's hand in that heart rending instant while he watched the madness of October grip the other boy for a devastating blow.
There was no ignoring the outcry, the outpouring of blood-- nor the fact that this horror was a memory that was locked away in the recesses of Dipper's mind.]
...even if its still there, it's a part of you.
[Oscar murmured finally, running his thumb over the back of his partner's hand while he spoke.]
It might be uncomfortable... but its a part of you that's still important to know.
[Just as Dipper had seen the darkness Oscar kept buried and didn't turn away, Oscar silently swore to do the same. They had honored each other's silence without question-- and, now that the silence was broken, they could help each other through the pain as well.]
[The scene starts to break down and fade away with the echos of his uncles voices shouting his name. They're returned to the peaceful quiet of the forest, the trunk open and empty.]
[Dipper's grip on Oscar's hand is a vice grip while he desperately tried to get himself together again. It's futile, honestly, and his free hand quickly moves up to rub at his eyes as he stubbornly tries not to get upset.]
[But now it's all out in the open, and so are those feelings of fear and anguish that it the memory left in it's wake. It's Oscar's reassuring words and presence that gets him to crack.]
I thought- for so long that. That it happened because I just wasn't strong enough to fight it. That my will was weak and I let this town get the better of me. I remember now- That eyepatch was like a badge, to remind me where I fell short.
[But, even as he says that, it sounds ridiculous knowing what they were truly up against with the town's influence.]
[Oscar said, recalling the horrors that was October in Deerington. The people of Remnant were long considered more accustomed to this brand of chaos than most-- but, they still had every adult among their number fall by the hands of someone who thought she was in control.
Raven Branwen likely did not realize how deep the madness that had befallen their little nightmare town had snuck into her heart.
He wouldn't regale Dipper with his own stories, of how Raven Branwen had single handedly slaughtered her mentor, her daughter, her twin brother during the madness. Instead, Oscar reached over to help rub some of those tears from Dipper's eyes.]
With the way you stood up to Bill Cipher? You're probably one of the strongest people here. Not many can do that.
But, not many can resist October, either. That means you're in pretty good company, right?
[He knows Oscar's right. He's slowly come to that realization himself in the past few months. That maybe he was being far too hard on himself about something no one could control. It's nice to be validated.]
[October and what it did to him will still scare him, still haunt his nightmares, but he can at least stop blaming himself for it. Not when the evidence otherwise is so solid.]
[Dipper looks up at him finally, a watery smile, but a very soft one all the same. He catches that hand that was brushing his face just now and holds both of his hands tightly, together.]
Oscar gently squeezed those hands with his, returning that smile with a small one to match. They all needed a reminder every once in a while-- of reality, and of their own strength. There was no changing the past, but it didn't have to define every step of the future either.]
You're welcome, Dipper. Always.
[He didn't pull away-- not then, with the glow of starlight and the night time creatures lighting the way around them. Even in the darkness, peace could be found.
There was always a glimmer of light.]
Looks like we've spilled blood for each other... and now I kinda dropped my body in my bedroom. [He chuckled.] Think this is a result of that crazy blood pact we did?
[Oh. Right, there was kind of this big elephant in the room to address: Where they were. Dipper pulls away just a little to take a look around them.]
I definitely don't think so. Proper blood pacts probably require a bit more ritual formality. A circle, some candles, and probably an incantation.
[He frowns, not addressing how he would know all that.]
Are we in a dream? This feels kind of like a dream. Back home, visiting someone's dreams could only be done if you used a certain spell or if you were, you know, Bill.
Beaches have good ambient noise for focusing on incantations.
[One day someone will tell Dipper he's a witch.]
[Anyway, Dipper balks at that answer.]
You heard me calling? I don't remember... [He has to think back, even if its extremely unpleasant, and as he does the sky grows just a little darker. He remembers the room, and he remembers screaming, but then-]
[Oscar shrugged-- any answer was good, because he had no idea.]
One of the people from Remnant, someone I didn't meet until I got here, explained that his telepathy works best when he's formed a Bond with someone. I wonder... is it something like that?
[Regardless of the legitimacy of their blood pact, given their lack of ritual and incantation, there was no doubt that they shared a distinct bond. Oscar reached out as the sky grew a little darker, knowing full well that their bond would help Dipper not get lost once more.
They had their families, and they had each other.
In a town where they didn't know anything? This was pretty good.]
[It was good, and this time, Dipper reaches back, taking Oscars hands. It's grounding, and the sky settles. Dipper takes a deep breath and nods, giving it some thought.]
...Yeah, maybe.
[And then Dipper holds Oscar's hands a little tighter.]
This is weird, right? Suddenly being able to do something like this. It's almost like--
Almost... Like what you had to deal with, with Bill?
[Oscar squeezed those hands in his regarding Dipper with notable concern. The last time one of the Wizards from Remnant accidentally used a power similar to Bill's, it had ended catastrophically. As much as he understood he was treading in delicate territory, he didn't wish for that kind of outcome.]
[Luckily, (or maybe unluckily) Dipper did not come to that conclusion over Oscar, but rather himself. He's thinking back now, to what happened in the bedroom. The way the room felt like it attacked him. It was easy to think at first that it was maybe something the town had done.]
[It's easy to blame the town, like it had been easy to blame Deerington, but this was different. After all of it had settled Dipper knows the truth. It had come from him.]
[He'd done something to the room, and it had affected not just him, but his family, too. And here they were inside this dream that he was having.]
Yeah.
[He looks down at their hands for a moment, and then back up at him, concern and ...fear? In his eyes.]
Oscar, I did all this. Before I fell asleep- I walked into that room and it was like it attacked me. My memories came back, but it felt like I'd soaked in every nasty feeling associated with that room and it was like something burst out of me. Everything went crazy, like October came back.
Whatever it was, I did it and I somehow dragged my family into it with me.
[He shook those hands emphatically, squeezing tighter as he fought to make sense of his own frustration at Dipper's words.]
Leaving the dream did something to all of us, whether we broke our eggs or not! There was no way you could have guessed any of this would happen.
[He cast his gaze downward as well, at the bed of pine needles from the trees that towered endlessly above. The scent was like an autumn forest-- musky with the damp of the changing seasons and the promise of cooler weather to come.]
Maybe the same happened to our homes? I know that the Clockhouse has overgrowth like you wouldn't believe-- and I worry about the Tower.
[The one that got burnt out by a wraith-like image of Salem, which was impotent to all but direct contact with flesh and the ability to rend the environment with flame.]
Maybe... I dunno, maybe Julia or Cynthia did something. Maybe it's a remnant of how Julia's memories affected the dream.
Except, this time it's our memories affecting the world.
[Oscar has a good point. These are all plausible theories. It could be that something in the house had reacted poorly to him, for some reason. He's still pretty sure his powers are at work here, which still feels weird to think. That whatever's changed their blood has given him weird abilities.]
[But regardless of any of that the fact remains that Dipper does not have enough data, not enough information. He can't know for sure what happened until he looks into it more. He settles down.]
Maybe. I guess it's still too soon to really tell what's going on here, huh?
[He frowns, something bothering him still. Small lingering worry pulls at the corner of his mouth and he glances away.]
But say ...hypothetically speaking, if it did turn out that I could do something like that. That I could do stuff like Bill ...what would you think?
I would think that we're more alike than we previously knew
[There was no hesitation in his reply, just earnestness and understanding. They truly didn't have enough data to make any judgements or conclusions about anything, but this was a fact that Oscar had already learned to live with.]
.... You do realize we haven't ruled out body hopping as something I could possibly do, right? I don't plan on testing that, but it's very possible. How would you feel if it is?
[That's the crazy thing about them standing in what is basically the manifested representation of Dipper's mind, when something illicits a strong reaction, it's felt all around them.]
[Of course the body hopping thing is something Dipper's thought about, but having Oscar say it like that, so openly, so bluntly, it forces him to come to terms with it. Yes, is probably really possible. He's inherited the same powers as Ozpin so who's to say he wouldn't one day wake up with Oscar in his head.]
[He's not proud of what happens next, but there's nothing he can do to prevent it. That's what really sucks about PTSD and unprocessed trauma. Sometimes something will just dredge it back up without your control, and Oscar bringing that to the forefront immediately summons a memory.]
[The forest flickers away, leaving a rustic attic. The light is red around around them, pouring in from a stain glass window. Bill's laughter fills the air and Oscar might feel the strangest sensation, like a sudden tear under his skin, a sundering of the physical and metaphysical.]
[It lasts for only a moment, before its gone. Dipper exhales shakily, and lets Oscar's hands go so that he can cradle his had as he pulls himself back together. The forest returns before Dipper shakes his head.]
It-... It doesn't matter what you can do. It's that I can trust what you'll do with it.
[This close to the edges of Self, Oscar should have known better than to mention anything that rattling. The very world shifted to the scarlet nightmare for a moment before Dipper pulled away-- and Oscar felt empty in the pine forest where they stood.]
... I'm just one Pine tree, Dipper. I've had to learn how to be responsible with these powers because there was no choice. Everyone would leave if I wasn't.
But, you're one of many Pines. They'll help you learn how to use these powers right and still be there if you make a mistake. You're not alone. And ..
[Once Dipper is sure it's passed, he reaches out for Oscar's hands again. He's not willing to let Oscar isolate himself like that just because Dipper had a lapse.]
Oh no, don't you start on tree metaphors. You realize you're stuck with us whether you like it or not.
[He sighs, and then offers him a smile, tired and uncertain, but determined. A lot of things have happened tonight and its starting to wear on him.]
But I get it. Trust goes both ways and if I can trust you with your abilities, then that means I have to let you trust me, right?
[Allegory and metaphor were an unfortunate habit Oscar had gained from Ozpin. The man was unfortunately fond of story-- doubtless, Oscar's own love of books was one of the qualities which made him... a like-minded soul.
Oscar was pulled from his reverie by Dipper's hands and words, and he couldn't help but regard the other boy with momentary bewilderment. These were details that Oscar had taken as fact. Even if he had found a family within Deerington, a part of him always felt like an outsider.
It was why he didn't have many friends, even before he left the farm.
But he couldn't help but return Dipper's smile with a sheepish one of his own, for he was gladdened by Dipper's reassurances.
Surely that was a better Truth.]
You're right. About... everything.
[Oscar squeezed Dipper's hands. Though the days and nights had become long, with each date on the calendar bleeding into the next, he was willing to continue trying despite how weary he was.]
Thanks, Dipper. For trusting me... and now letting me trust you.
cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out
[Dipper leads them up the stairs, staying a few steps behind the memory. The memory trudges on, swaying here and there. He walks past the first bedroom, which Oscar will know to be the current bedroom of the twins. He heads instead to the bedroom at the end of the hall. The one that's always been locked for as long as Oscar's known the Pines.]
[Memory Dipper pushes it open. Inside is a room with walls covered in broken, triangle-shaped windows. Red light from outside streams in, illuminating the floor, which is covered in broken glass. Along the walls are ...Dipper's bed and desk. This room used to belong to him.]
[Memory Dipper heads right in, dropping to his knees at the center of the room. The real Dipper stops at the door and tightens his grip on Oscar.]
...Grunkle Stan started locking the silverware drawer, so I guess, when that insane part of me needed to emulate the final sign, he thought: "Well, anything sharp will work, probably."
[Memory Dipper picks up a nasty shard of glass and just starts to laugh.]
cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out
Only good grip on Dipper's hand kept his body still, but he felt his heart quaking at all of the imagery that bore a semblance to Bill. The triangle windows that opened to a blood red sky only served as a chilling highlight to witnessing the younger, not fragile Dipper in the memory lumbering with apparent listlessness--
As if he had been affected by the Apathy. Or worse.
Oscar glanced down in surprise when Dipper's hand tightened around his, and he quickly darted his gaze upward to search for answers.]
You felt compelled to do it, didn't you?
[He asked without accusation.]
Dipper...
[Even if they had met any sooner, there was no stopping the inexorable chaos and destruction that was October.]
cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out
I was hallucinating. I was seeing him, I was hearing him speaking to me, taunting me, threatening me. I wasn't seeing my own actions. When I finally saw through the delusion, it was like being a stranger in my own skin. Something sinister had hold of me, something that ...I'm afraid is still there.
[Dipper falls quiet. Memory Dipper starts to rave like a lunatic about how "I won't let you hurt my family," and "I'll defeat you, just like we did last time." There's nothing there. His voice is strained and it barely sounds like him. After a moment he starts to laugh again, the glass shard still in his hand.]
[And then, with little warning, he shoves it into his right eye and screams.]
cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out
There was no ignoring the outcry, the outpouring of blood-- nor the fact that this horror was a memory that was locked away in the recesses of Dipper's mind.]
...even if its still there, it's a part of you.
[Oscar murmured finally, running his thumb over the back of his partner's hand while he spoke.]
It might be uncomfortable... but its a part of you that's still important to know.
[Just as Dipper had seen the darkness Oscar kept buried and didn't turn away, Oscar silently swore to do the same. They had honored each other's silence without question-- and, now that the silence was broken, they could help each other through the pain as well.]
no subject
[Dipper's grip on Oscar's hand is a vice grip while he desperately tried to get himself together again. It's futile, honestly, and his free hand quickly moves up to rub at his eyes as he stubbornly tries not to get upset.]
[But now it's all out in the open, and so are those feelings of fear and anguish that it the memory left in it's wake. It's Oscar's reassuring words and presence that gets him to crack.]
I thought- for so long that. That it happened because I just wasn't strong enough to fight it. That my will was weak and I let this town get the better of me. I remember now- That eyepatch was like a badge, to remind me where I fell short.
[But, even as he says that, it sounds ridiculous knowing what they were truly up against with the town's influence.]
no subject
[Oscar said, recalling the horrors that was October in Deerington. The people of Remnant were long considered more accustomed to this brand of chaos than most-- but, they still had every adult among their number fall by the hands of someone who thought she was in control.
Raven Branwen likely did not realize how deep the madness that had befallen their little nightmare town had snuck into her heart.
He wouldn't regale Dipper with his own stories, of how Raven Branwen had single handedly slaughtered her mentor, her daughter, her twin brother during the madness. Instead, Oscar reached over to help rub some of those tears from Dipper's eyes.]
With the way you stood up to Bill Cipher? You're probably one of the strongest people here. Not many can do that.
But, not many can resist October, either. That means you're in pretty good company, right?
no subject
[He knows Oscar's right. He's slowly come to that realization himself in the past few months. That maybe he was being far too hard on himself about something no one could control. It's nice to be validated.]
[October and what it did to him will still scare him, still haunt his nightmares, but he can at least stop blaming himself for it. Not when the evidence otherwise is so solid.]
[Dipper looks up at him finally, a watery smile, but a very soft one all the same. He catches that hand that was brushing his face just now and holds both of his hands tightly, together.]
Thanks, Oscar. For everything.
no subject
Oscar gently squeezed those hands with his, returning that smile with a small one to match. They all needed a reminder every once in a while-- of reality, and of their own strength. There was no changing the past, but it didn't have to define every step of the future either.]
You're welcome, Dipper. Always.
[He didn't pull away-- not then, with the glow of starlight and the night time creatures lighting the way around them. Even in the darkness, peace could be found.
There was always a glimmer of light.]
Looks like we've spilled blood for each other... and now I kinda dropped my body in my bedroom. [He chuckled.] Think this is a result of that crazy blood pact we did?
no subject
I definitely don't think so. Proper blood pacts probably require a bit more ritual formality. A circle, some candles, and probably an incantation.
[He frowns, not addressing how he would know all that.]
Are we in a dream? This feels kind of like a dream. Back home, visiting someone's dreams could only be done if you used a certain spell or if you were, you know, Bill.
[He looks at Oscar with a curious expression.]
How did you...?
no subject
[Everything he knew about ritual, he knew from books. Salt was a factor in a lot of those tales... and the ocean has a lot of salt.
Oscar shrugged.]
Your answer is as good as mine. I just heard you calling... and I answered it.
[Classic answer from the kid who had been sucked into Magic: Spellwork and Ritual Not Required.]
no subject
[One day someone will tell Dipper he's a witch.]
[Anyway, Dipper balks at that answer.]
You heard me calling? I don't remember... [He has to think back, even if its extremely unpleasant, and as he does the sky grows just a little darker. He remembers the room, and he remembers screaming, but then-]
Did we ...do a weird mind-link thing again?
no subject
[Oscar shrugged-- any answer was good, because he had no idea.]
One of the people from Remnant, someone I didn't meet until I got here, explained that his telepathy works best when he's formed a Bond with someone. I wonder... is it something like that?
[Regardless of the legitimacy of their blood pact, given their lack of ritual and incantation, there was no doubt that they shared a distinct bond. Oscar reached out as the sky grew a little darker, knowing full well that their bond would help Dipper not get lost once more.
They had their families, and they had each other.
In a town where they didn't know anything? This was pretty good.]
no subject
...Yeah, maybe.
[And then Dipper holds Oscar's hands a little tighter.]
This is weird, right? Suddenly being able to do something like this. It's almost like--
[He can't even say it. It feels way too weird.]
no subject
[Oscar squeezed those hands in his regarding Dipper with notable concern. The last time one of the Wizards from Remnant accidentally used a power similar to Bill's, it had ended catastrophically. As much as he understood he was treading in delicate territory, he didn't wish for that kind of outcome.]
no subject
[It's easy to blame the town, like it had been easy to blame Deerington, but this was different. After all of it had settled Dipper knows the truth. It had come from him.]
[He'd done something to the room, and it had affected not just him, but his family, too. And here they were inside this dream that he was having.]
Yeah.
[He looks down at their hands for a moment, and then back up at him, concern and ...fear? In his eyes.]
Oscar, I did all this. Before I fell asleep- I walked into that room and it was like it attacked me. My memories came back, but it felt like I'd soaked in every nasty feeling associated with that room and it was like something burst out of me. Everything went crazy, like October came back.
Whatever it was, I did it and I somehow dragged my family into it with me.
[He's the one with Bill powers.]
no subject
[He shook those hands emphatically, squeezing tighter as he fought to make sense of his own frustration at Dipper's words.]
Leaving the dream did something to all of us, whether we broke our eggs or not! There was no way you could have guessed any of this would happen.
[He cast his gaze downward as well, at the bed of pine needles from the trees that towered endlessly above. The scent was like an autumn forest-- musky with the damp of the changing seasons and the promise of cooler weather to come.]
Maybe the same happened to our homes? I know that the Clockhouse has overgrowth like you wouldn't believe-- and I worry about the Tower.
[The one that got burnt out by a wraith-like image of Salem, which was impotent to all but direct contact with flesh and the ability to rend the environment with flame.]
Maybe... I dunno, maybe Julia or Cynthia did something. Maybe it's a remnant of how Julia's memories affected the dream.
Except, this time it's our memories affecting the world.
no subject
[Oscar has a good point. These are all plausible theories. It could be that something in the house had reacted poorly to him, for some reason. He's still pretty sure his powers are at work here, which still feels weird to think. That whatever's changed their blood has given him weird abilities.]
[But regardless of any of that the fact remains that Dipper does not have enough data, not enough information. He can't know for sure what happened until he looks into it more. He settles down.]
Maybe. I guess it's still too soon to really tell what's going on here, huh?
[He frowns, something bothering him still. Small lingering worry pulls at the corner of his mouth and he glances away.]
But say ...hypothetically speaking, if it did turn out that I could do something like that. That I could do stuff like Bill ...what would you think?
no subject
[There was no hesitation in his reply, just earnestness and understanding. They truly didn't have enough data to make any judgements or conclusions about anything, but this was a fact that Oscar had already learned to live with.]
.... You do realize we haven't ruled out body hopping as something I could possibly do, right? I don't plan on testing that, but it's very possible. How would you feel if it is?
no subject
[Of course the body hopping thing is something Dipper's thought about, but having Oscar say it like that, so openly, so bluntly, it forces him to come to terms with it. Yes, is probably really possible. He's inherited the same powers as Ozpin so who's to say he wouldn't one day wake up with Oscar in his head.]
[He's not proud of what happens next, but there's nothing he can do to prevent it. That's what really sucks about PTSD and unprocessed trauma. Sometimes something will just dredge it back up without your control, and Oscar bringing that to the forefront immediately summons a memory.]
[The forest flickers away, leaving a rustic attic. The light is red around around them, pouring in from a stain glass window. Bill's laughter fills the air and Oscar might feel the strangest sensation, like a sudden tear under his skin, a sundering of the physical and metaphysical.]
[It lasts for only a moment, before its gone. Dipper exhales shakily, and lets Oscar's hands go so that he can cradle his had as he pulls himself back together. The forest returns before Dipper shakes his head.]
It-... It doesn't matter what you can do. It's that I can trust what you'll do with it.
no subject
... I'm just one Pine tree, Dipper. I've had to learn how to be responsible with these powers because there was no choice. Everyone would leave if I wasn't.
But, you're one of many Pines. They'll help you learn how to use these powers right and still be there if you make a mistake. You're not alone. And ..
I trust you.
no subject
Oh no, don't you start on tree metaphors. You realize you're stuck with us whether you like it or not.
[He sighs, and then offers him a smile, tired and uncertain, but determined. A lot of things have happened tonight and its starting to wear on him.]
But I get it. Trust goes both ways and if I can trust you with your abilities, then that means I have to let you trust me, right?
no subject
Oscar was pulled from his reverie by Dipper's hands and words, and he couldn't help but regard the other boy with momentary bewilderment. These were details that Oscar had taken as fact. Even if he had found a family within Deerington, a part of him always felt like an outsider.
It was why he didn't have many friends, even before he left the farm.
But he couldn't help but return Dipper's smile with a sheepish one of his own, for he was gladdened by Dipper's reassurances.
Surely that was a better Truth.]
You're right. About... everything.
[Oscar squeezed Dipper's hands. Though the days and nights had become long, with each date on the calendar bleeding into the next, he was willing to continue trying despite how weary he was.]
Thanks, Dipper. For trusting me... and now letting me trust you.
We'll work all of this out. Somehow.