justoscar | Inbox for Deer Country

[Maul looked surprised when he realized that his Omni was on and that Oscar had just witnessed him in a soft moment with his pets. At least it was no one he would have been afraid would use such vulnerability against him. Then an embarrassed but happy smile crossed his face.]

Thank you for telling me so, Oscar. I know some people think I am merely doing the bare minimum to improve but.....it is a great effort to do what everyone else already knows. I don't possess the same instincts others do, so I try my best with what I have learned.

[Oscar smiled. Maul didn't need to defend himself or explain himself-- Oscar had been watching this story unfold from the beginning of his time in the Dream. One thing he had learned for certain was that the little things made the biggest impact.]

You're doing what you can when you can do it. That's not nothing, and for you definitely not the minimum

... you don't seem like the guy who does anything in pieces. You give your full effort if you think something is worth doing at all.

[Ah, his young wise friend. Maul knew he'd made a good decision to put his trust in Oscar when he'd been looking for someone who could help him stay on the right path. He hummed a little in the back of his throat at Oscar's words.]

Mmm, yes, that is one of my better qualities.

[Along with Maul's insane loyalty. It was hard to win but once he gave it to someone, it was theirs to keep and took a hell of a lot for Maul to revoke it. There was also his ridiculous amount of courage and determination. Once he'd set on a course of action, Maul always saw it through no matter how difficult it was. That was when his stubbornness came in handy instead of being a detriment as it often was.]

It is.....strange. I haven't gone without killing someone for this long since I was a small child.

[Sidious had stoked enough hate and anger in Maul's hearts to have him killing people right from the start, not that the "family" of Nightbrothers who had taken him in didn't deserve what was coming to them after the way the father and two brothers had treated him.]

And you shouldn't have had to kill anyone at all when you were young,

[Oscar added-- then, knowing that he needed to say it:]

I'm proud of you for that. Not many people are probably going to say it, but that's a big deal for you.

[For a man who has had no choice but to kill or be killed for so long, being able to step back even a margin was itself an impressive feat. Doing that, along with schooling his little monster companions to do the same?

Somehow, Oscar suspected that the people from Maul's home wouldn't fully recognize the man he was now.]

[A brief shadow crossed Maul’s face when Oscar said he shouldn’t have been forced to kill from such a young age. It had only been recently he was able to admit that what he’d gone through was abuse and that he hadn’t deserved any of it. But that had been a good step along the process of healing.

Then he brightened up and gave a genuine smile when Oscar gave him praise for being able to improve as much as he had. He knew not everyone here understood his personality, that they looked at him with contempt or derision for doing what they saw as the absolute bare minimum to be a better person.

But they didn’t count. Maul had learned to write off such people, for nothing he ever did would ever be enough for them. He could have turned into a literal saint and they still would have said it wasn’t enough. The friends he had who understood his plight and could congratulate him for becoming better were all he cared about.]

Thank you for that, Oscar. It’s something I need to hear as I keep moving forward.

[It was slow, steady steps that had gotten Maul to his point, so it would have to continue to be the same moving forward as he improved himself.]

Inbox for Deer Country

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thanks for being patient

No worries! cw: mention of child death, children committing murder, and physical child abuse

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