justoscar | Inbox for Deer Country

[It was stunning to encounter-- although his body was dry, he still felt the impression of becoming soaked in the spray and the tumult of the current. He could just barely keep his head above it--

Then it was gone.

Panicking, Oscar shifted to a different strategy.]

Mason!!!

[The name seems to echo through whatever link Oscar has extended to Dipper. It comes back to him, and this time, there's an impression that comes with it.]

[Something has opened. There's no longer a torrent but a gentle curtain of water, instead. Passable but with no way to know what's on the other side. If Oscar were to extend his reach, maybe he could cross through it.]

[Worry and curiosity both drove Oscar to try. He reached forth without hesitation, determined to reconnect with Dipper and make sure that he was safe.

He reached through the gentle cascade with trembling hands, uncertain of what the next step would be but intent on following this path to the end.

... On the floor of the bedroom Oscar remained, unconscious among his blankets and books while his Self roamed elsewhere.]

[The first thing Oscar will notice, that once he's passed that threshold, the world around him shifts seamlessly into a forest. There is a path to follow and there are stars overhead despite the steep reach of the pines.]

[There are also voices head just over the natural sounds of the woods. As he gets closer he might recognize one of them as Dipper. The other ...? Uncertain, and it doesn't sound like it's speaking back with words, rather than sounds. Either way it sounds like they're having an urgent talk.]

...--No, it's fine like this. If it gets out again, there's no telling what might happen.

[The other entity replies, it's sounds indecipherable.]

I know that, but- look at the damage that's already been done. I'll just ...lock it up tighter, this time.

[It was only the faint glow of moonlight and phosphorescent fungi that lit Oscar's path through the pines, and the small feathered presence of Diggs appearing at his shoulder that gave Oscar the confidence to proceed. He cast a look at his partner, turned into a winged deer-like creature still small enough to hold by the endless dark seas, when he heard the soft conversation ahead.

Without context, he didn't know the full situation. However, experience in this and in dozens of past lifetimes in his memory had taught him valuable lessons.

With twigs crunching under his feet, he stepped into the open:]

Things that get locked up are usually much worse when they break out again.

[Not 'if'. 'when'.

Diggs chirped softly in agreement, and that was enough to drive Oscar forward.]

Dipper...

Are you okay?

[Dipper lets out a startled yelp and Oscar should now be able to see what was happening in the clearing. Dipper is there at the center, crouched over what looks like a massive wooden trunk. Perched on top of it is Alcaid, who's form is a little bigger, and a little more limby than his usual compact void-ball form.]

[The trunk is emitting something ...dark. Something Dipper is desperately trying to keep contained.]

Oscar?! What- What are you doing here?

[Alcaid makes a noise. Dipper's eyes go wide with a sudden panic.]

What do you mean you invited him? Are you telling me that's really...

[Oh no.]

[Oscar shot Diggs an inquiring look at Dipper's panic. The trunk, the darkness within, and Alcaid all piqued his curiosity, but for the moment this was more important.]

Diggs? What does he--??

[The little deer-like creature trilled and hung it's head, wings tucking back and feathers pulling tight.]

I don't care if my body's still at the house, [He stubbornly blurted out-- and, with a shake of his head, he moved forward.]

Guess were all in your head for now. [A shrug. He wasn't really worried about that detail. Faith in an answer and resolution to the current problem helped him not worry. Instead, he reached for Dipper's hands.]

It doesn't matter. Your guide called us here for a reason. Let us help.

That's. That would be really interesting if I weren't on the verge of a panic attack

[Dipper says that with remarkable calm despite his words. He shoots Alcaid something of a betrayed look, and Alcaid does not seem at all remorseful for their meddling.]

[As Oscar gets closer, Dipper's panic returns. He does not pull his hands away from Oscar's but he does not let go of the trunk either.]

Oscar, wait! You don't ...understand what's in here. If it gets out again, I don't know what will happen.

[Hands up in a gesture of innocence, Oscar took a step backwards. Whatever was going on was still unknown to him, but he knew panic. It gripped him when he lost control of his body, stopped to visit whenever he knew his friends were in trouble, embraced him when death dropped by for a visit...]

Bravery isn't not being afraid, [He intoned, sounding less like a teenager and more like someone with a very tired soul in that instant.]

It's being afraid, but trusting that everything will be okay in the end.

Just... Explain what this all is, okay? I'm supposed to be a wizard, Dipper. We can figure this out.

[Dipper drops his shoulders in resignation and takes a deep breath.]

They're ...memories. Bad ones, from back in October.

[He looks up. He looks very tired, remarkable circles under his eyes. The darkness streams out from the trunk a little now that Dipper isn't focused on keeping it shut.]

When we woke up in this place, our memories got kind of weird, right? Well ...I guess at some point I subconsciously shut away that entire mess and now it wants back out.

[An uncomfortable silence fell after Dipper's reply, and it left Oscar shifting his weight. The difference between limbs hardly mattered in this space, but he recalled his own anguish and horrors from the previous October.

It was amazing what differences a year made.]

... We never talked about it, did we?

[He asked, clearing away some of the brush and dropping to the ground.]

I was distracted by my own problems-- [Like Raven Branwen losing control of her self and slaughtering every adult in their party, including her twin brother and only daughter. Oscar wisely kept quiet on the details.]

-- and you had your problems. We both were gonna play Dungeons, Dungeons, and Dungeons, weren't we?

It's a shame we never got there.

[A missed opportunity, like so many others.]

... This place seems safe enough to talk, if you wanted to.

[Dipper instead takes a seat on the trunk, holding it down for now but not actively trying to force it shut.]

We never talked about it because I really didn’t want to. The only people who know the full story are my family.

[He sighs. That’s probably why he’s in this mess. He's heard of emotional baggage but this was kind of ridiculous. Still, if he needed to talk about it, Oscar is one of the few people he'd be willing to.]

So …in a full blown possession from Bill Cipher, there are a few documented sure-signs of him straining his host and taking too much control. When I got possessed by him back in Gravity Falls, the situation was a little different. It was a waking possession with my spirit totally yanked out of my body.

Normally what he does is just trick you into giving him access to your body and mind without removing the host from their body. Instead, he looks for openings to take control then slides in when you're asleep or blacked out to do whatever he wants. That's how it happened to Grunkle Ford.

Edited (phone tagging is a terrible idea it turns out. I made the tag better) 2021-09-15 01:43 (UTC)

I know. I wasn't going to push you.

[Who was he to make such demands over something so personal? But once more Oscar felt the divide, felt how the information they shared was unbalanced. Ultimately, Dipper knew more about Oscar than Oscar did about him. Oscar would never push.... but he had personally witnessed the results of shoving despair into a box for an untold length of time.

Diggs nosed around the forest floor, rifling amidst the ground cover foliage and late summer wildflowers while Oscar listened to the explanation. Silently, he compared this information to what Dipper had explained before... and how that must have correlated with Ford in regards to the incident after Ozpin's death.]

....Yeah, that makes sense. You explained before that Bill threw your body down the stairs while in possession, and did other things to physically hurt you. But, with all this?

I can see why your uncle was mad at Ozpin. Although I'm sure Ozpin had the best intentions, it must have looked and felt a lot like what Bill did.

Right.

[And while Dipper didn't want to have to bring Ozpin up, going back and explaining the context of what Bill's done is important to explaining what happened in October. So, Dipper just nods and does not pick at the Ozpin situation anymore than necessary.]

[It's probably a good sign that whatever talk they're about to have, it's serious enough that Dipper doesn't take the opportunity to be petty about Ozpin. Oscar knows how Dipper loves to be petty.]

So ...when October arrived, we all got hit with that terrible insomnia. Days started to drag on and ...I'm not sure exactly when it started to happen but I would lose whole chunks of time. It was like I just completely dissociated from reality and when I would come to, it would be minutes, maybe hours later.

I started to find bruises all over me. Nasty ones that turned green and purple. After that it turned into cuts and jabs that looked like they came from silverware. I remember snapping to one day and just finding my arms covered in blood and fork punctures.

[He no longer has those scars, thankfully, but he still reflexively holds his arms, remembering.]

[Ozpin wasn't the subject matter-- Dipper was. The circumstances surrounding everyone connected to the ancient Ozma was the only comparison Oscar had.

With the new information, it wasn't even a good comparison.]

How could you not notice, though? That insomnia was horrible, but it shouldn't mess with your actual memory.

It did, though. Or ...something like that. Something about the town possessed me and convinced me that Bill Cipher was haunting me. No matter what I did, I couldn't catch him, I couldn't stop him from taking control of me, causing me to black out, and then leaving me with all these awful injuries.

[He stops here for a moment. His expression twists into an upset grimace and for a moment, there's a horrible sound from the trunk. It's not sinister and violent sounding. It sounds anguished, instead.]

In Grunkle Ford's journal, he writes about these signs of possession. The last one, the worst one, and the final sign that Bill's straining his host too much is ...burning and bleeding in the right eye.

['The right eye.'

Oscar gulped and looked up to meet Dipper's mismatched gaze, as if to confirm what he had already feared. The glazed over eye, the one that Dipper normally covered with a patch, was...]

Please tell me you didn't do anything crazy.

Sorry. I hate to spoil the twist ending for you like that, but you probably guessed Bill was never there. Bill didn't show up in Deerington until late November, so the one that was doing all of this- the one breaking into the silverware drawer and stabbing me with forks, the one slamming my arms in doors- it had always been me.

[Dipper slides off the trunk and faces it. With a determined grimace, Dipper shoves the trunk open. That inky darkness leaps forward, spreading out, blotting out the skies, the trees, the stars.]

[And then it all turns red, and their feet find themselves planted at the base of a flight of stairs. Oscar will recognize them as the ones in the Pineses house.]

[Dipper turns and gives him a wry look.]

"Crazy" doesn't begin to explain the half of it.

[An image of Dipper trudges past them. He's younger, dressed in an outfit neither of them have seen in ages. There is ...a frightfully vacant and unhinged look on his face, and his eyes are dark with insomnia. His arms are full of bloody scabs and healing wounds.]

[He begins to climb the stairs, unsteadily, leaning hard against the wall.]

[The current Dipper watches him go for a few steps before he turns to Oscar again and offers him a hand. He's going to follow that memory and Oscar can come, but he won't begrudge him hanging back if that's what he'd prefer.]

[It was terrible enough to imagine, but to see it? No wonder Dipper's scream had broken through the barriers that separated their very minds. Oscar took Dipper's hand in his and cast him a supportive smile.]

Of course I'll go with you.

[They were partners, after all.

Oscar was doing to stand by Dipper until they found a resolution.]

Edited 2021-09-15 09:46 (UTC)

[Some of that brave facade he put on when he opened the trunk falters a little when Oscar takes his hand. It takes him a moment, but he smiles and clasps his hand tight.]

[Dipper leads them up the stairs, staying a few steps behind the memory. The memory trudges on, swaying here and there. He walks past the first bedroom, which Oscar will know to be the current bedroom of the twins. He heads instead to the bedroom at the end of the hall. The one that's always been locked for as long as Oscar's known the Pines.]

[Memory Dipper pushes it open. Inside is a room with walls covered in broken, triangle-shaped windows. Red light from outside streams in, illuminating the floor, which is covered in broken glass. Along the walls are ...Dipper's bed and desk. This room used to belong to him.]

[Memory Dipper heads right in, dropping to his knees at the center of the room. The real Dipper stops at the door and tightens his grip on Oscar.]

...Grunkle Stan started locking the silverware drawer, so I guess, when that insane part of me needed to emulate the final sign, he thought: "Well, anything sharp will work, probably."

[Memory Dipper picks up a nasty shard of glass and just starts to laugh.]

[It was bone chilling to watch.

Only good grip on Dipper's hand kept his body still, but he felt his heart quaking at all of the imagery that bore a semblance to Bill. The triangle windows that opened to a blood red sky only served as a chilling highlight to witnessing the younger, not fragile Dipper in the memory lumbering with apparent listlessness--

As if he had been affected by the Apathy. Or worse.

Oscar glanced down in surprise when Dipper's hand tightened around his, and he quickly darted his gaze upward to search for answers.]

You felt compelled to do it, didn't you?

[He asked without accusation.]

Dipper...

[Even if they had met any sooner, there was no stopping the inexorable chaos and destruction that was October.]

[No, there was nothing that could have been done, not when the Pines family themselves arrived so close to October.]

I was hallucinating. I was seeing him, I was hearing him speaking to me, taunting me, threatening me. I wasn't seeing my own actions. When I finally saw through the delusion, it was like being a stranger in my own skin. Something sinister had hold of me, something that ...I'm afraid is still there.

[Dipper falls quiet. Memory Dipper starts to rave like a lunatic about how "I won't let you hurt my family," and "I'll defeat you, just like we did last time." There's nothing there. His voice is strained and it barely sounds like him. After a moment he starts to laugh again, the glass shard still in his hand.]

[And then, with little warning, he shoves it into his right eye and screams.]

[Oscar flinched at the discordant scream. His grip tightened around Dipper's hand in that heart rending instant while he watched the madness of October grip the other boy for a devastating blow.

There was no ignoring the outcry, the outpouring of blood-- nor the fact that this horror was a memory that was locked away in the recesses of Dipper's mind.]

...even if its still there, it's a part of you.

[Oscar murmured finally, running his thumb over the back of his partner's hand while he spoke.]

It might be uncomfortable... but its a part of you that's still important to know.

[Just as Dipper had seen the darkness Oscar kept buried and didn't turn away, Oscar silently swore to do the same. They had honored each other's silence without question-- and, now that the silence was broken, they could help each other through the pain as well.]

Edited 2021-09-17 02:18 (UTC)

[The scene starts to break down and fade away with the echos of his uncles voices shouting his name. They're returned to the peaceful quiet of the forest, the trunk open and empty.]

[Dipper's grip on Oscar's hand is a vice grip while he desperately tried to get himself together again. It's futile, honestly, and his free hand quickly moves up to rub at his eyes as he stubbornly tries not to get upset.]

[But now it's all out in the open, and so are those feelings of fear and anguish that it the memory left in it's wake. It's Oscar's reassuring words and presence that gets him to crack.]

I thought- for so long that. That it happened because I just wasn't strong enough to fight it. That my will was weak and I let this town get the better of me. I remember now- That eyepatch was like a badge, to remind me where I fell short.

[But, even as he says that, it sounds ridiculous knowing what they were truly up against with the town's influence.]

You know none of that is true, Dipper.

[Oscar said, recalling the horrors that was October in Deerington. The people of Remnant were long considered more accustomed to this brand of chaos than most-- but, they still had every adult among their number fall by the hands of someone who thought she was in control.

Raven Branwen likely did not realize how deep the madness that had befallen their little nightmare town had snuck into her heart.

He wouldn't regale Dipper with his own stories, of how Raven Branwen had single handedly slaughtered her mentor, her daughter, her twin brother during the madness. Instead, Oscar reached over to help rub some of those tears from Dipper's eyes.]

With the way you stood up to Bill Cipher? You're probably one of the strongest people here. Not many can do that.

But, not many can resist October, either. That means you're in pretty good company, right?

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cw: mentions of self-injury, insanity, eventual eye horror, and demonic possession

cw: mentions of self-injury, insanity, eventual eye horror, and demonic possession

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cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out

cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out

cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out

cw: reiterating for PTSD, eye trauma, insanity, and cw's associated with October from here on out

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