[The truth hurt, but that didn't mean Dipper would shy away from it. He got what he asked for. It's fine, maybe he could figure out some way to help them later, after the reach the other side of Deerington, whatever that might be.]
[No, Dipper hated being helpless, and he hated yielding to a problem he couldn't solve, so. For now, he would put a pin in it, but like hell was he going to give up that easily. He would find a way to help the person he had feelings for, one way or another.]
[Ah, but, now it's Dipper's turn to explain. That grim determination of his turns into something much more unpleasant.]
Ozpin respawned in my uncles body and he did probably the worst thing he could have done while being in there.
[The flatness of his tone suggested that Oscar was not surprised. This had, after all, happened before within Deerington.]
I'm going to take a couple of guesses, so tell me if I'm wrong. Last time he returned in the head of someone he cared about-- in that case, Ruby. I'm also going to bet that he didn't disclose everything that he can do while riding shot gun. So, he probably ended up in Mr. Ford and either got too deep in his memories or felt he had to take the steering wheel for whatever reason.
I told you. It's not Bill, but it probably looks like it is.
[Great, so Oscar knows exactly what happened here. At leasyt Oscar isn't trying to apologize for him or justify it. That would have made Dipper really fly off the handle.]
[The salt flows freely now, because Dipper never made it a secret he did not like or trust Oz. It's only particularly frustrating for Dipper, because for a moment, he was starting to come around, he was giving him a chance. Ozpin apparently chose doused it in gasoline and light it on fire, instead. Fucking wizards.]
Yeah, it's worse than Bill! Bill had rules he had to follow! He couldn't just run off with a body unless the person in question gave permission, manipulated or not!
Ozpin went against my Uncles wishes and seized control of his body, knowing that he had a history of being manipulated by something like Bill. So, yeah, we're all pretty mad at him right now!
[Oscar listened patiently, knowing that this was the exact reason why he had held of on speaking his truth for so long. He had wanted a chance to strategize with Ozpin about matters, but apparently life had it's own plans.]
I'm not saying this to defend him, [Oscar started quietly,] but he didn't choose to be in there. Last time this happened, he had delayed and taken a longer stay in Death before deciding whether or not he wanted to return.
He did, eventually.
It's not an excuse.
[He sighed.]
I know exactly what you're talking about, because he did it to me. I'd allow him sometimes to explain things to Ruby and the others, but he would leave me in weird positions-- like with my hand on someone's shoulder, or about to fall off a chair..
There were times he took over without my permission, too. When there was something dangerous, usually. I wasn't good in a fight at all at that point, so I'd probably be dead if he hadn't taken over.
...It's still frustrating. I passed out after the first few fights, too.
Maybe he didn't choose to be in there, but he did choose to rip away my uncle's agency, and hurt him in a very deep, personal way, Oscar.
[Dipper shakes his head.]
That's such crap, why does he think he can just puppet people around like they're toys. Does he have any concept at all of agency? Or boundaries, or free will? Or does he think he's above it all and can do what he likes?
[Dipper finally bites it down, letting that anger flood out of him. He's furious at Ozpin, and he's upset for his uncle's sake, but at the end he feels betrayed, because he wanted to believe in Ozpin, and he was let down. When he speaks again he sounds ...tired and miserable.]
Great Uncle Ford says ...that we shouldn't trust him or you anymore. Not Qrow or Gerry, either.
[Oscar said nothing when faced with the outburst. There was nothing he could say that would make any of this better, that would ease the pain and frustration or repair the broken trust.
He didn't know that circumstances-- but he did know that Oz knew better than to lie to people he wanted to trust him. ]
... Maybe he's right, [Oscar said quietly.]
Qrow can only turn into a bird because Oz gave him the power to do so. He and I have both been working on helping Oz with these problems for months. Gerry, though...
I don't know his story. He's not from Remnant. He does have some kind of arrangement with... An entity, I guess. I don't know the details, though.
[No, it really is just best to let Dipper get the hurt out, lest he bottle it up or something. Nothing was going to make it so he wasn't mad at Ozpin, not when what he did was so personal.]
[Oscar's reply gives him pause, though, and for a moment he isn't sure what to say. He didn't expect him to agree, and suddenly the anger quells to make way for something else. Dread? Worry? Something like fear grips him suddenly.]
Do you really think I shouldn't trust you anymore?
Oscar knew this fact intimately. 'Like-minded Souls' meant more than having similar values and beliefs, he had learned. It suggested a greater similarity in beliefs and patterns-- both in their morals and behaviors. ]
I want to trust you, Dipper.
[He stated objectively, drawing from the well of still waters he knew existed deep in his soul. Sometimes, the easiest methods were the simplest, the softest... ]
And I want to see Gravity Falls. But, I can't make you trust me if you don't, and I won't ask you to either.
... He did the same thing to us, you know.
[Oscar added-- sounding tired and small.]
We had to force the truth out of him. I wrestled with him for my body, and found the keyword for the Lamp. We asked Jinn for the truth he was hiding... And, when confronted with the reality that his secret was out, he buried himself away.
"Trust shouldn't be given unconditionally, but it should be given a chance to be earned."
[Dipper says it like he is quoting someone else's words, which he is. They were perhaps the wisest thing to be written in that dusty journal after it was all said and done.]
[Ozpin would have a long, long way to go to re-earn the trust he broke with their family, but that isn't the case with Oscar. To put the two together would be to deny their identities and Dipper wasn't about to do that, especially not now. Oscar had answered all of his questions, and met him earnestly, and Dipper thinks that has more merit than anything.]
I'm just as complicit in this, you know. I let you keep your secrets, even knowing how potentially terrible they were. However, when the time came, you were honest.
I won't charge you for the things he's done. I won't push you two together like you're the same. Ozpin has a lot to answer for, and it'll be his decision what he does from there. That's not on you. So...
On a fundamental level, Oscar still believed himself to be partly responsible for Ozpin's emotional recovery or lack thereof. Like with Ironwood, he knew that Oz had exceedingly few allies who knew his truth. Whether it was fear of abandonment or fear of loss over and over that drove Oz's decisions, Oscar didn't know.
All he knew for certain was that Oz had committed every lie, every misdeed in an effort to spare himself further pain and make the weight of eternity more bearable.]
Thanks, Dipper. I...
I actually didn't hide as much as you think.
[He cast the other boy a chagrinned look.]
Stan actually had clues to most of it.
[The fact that one grunkle was 'Stan' and the other 'Mr. Ford' spoke volumes of the differences between Oscar's relationships with them.]
Since I left the farm, there hasn't been too many people who treat me as myself, even here. I've become... Too old for people my age, in a way. But I'm still me. And Stan... Kept asking me questions about myself.
Not to many people have done that.
[He chuckled-- a wry, bitter sound that broke the tension. ]
I'm surprised he didn't figure any of it out. Or, at least ask you about the things that sounded weird to him.
The two of you definitely could have figured all this out.
[It was Oscar’s protest that made Dipper more and more sure about his decision. Oscar wasn’t taking his trust lightly, and that’s what was important. He thinks from here, they can move forward, if Oscar wants.]
[As Stan comes into the conversation, Dipper look surprised, then he deadpans, huffs in frustration and shakes his head.]
No, that’s Grunkle Stan for you. He’ll listen but he won’t go around meddling with other people’s business. He isn’t one to go spilling other people’s secrets. I’m not surprised he didn’t come to me about any of it.
[It’s not even a question of whether they were close or not. They certainly were now, much more than they were back home. It’s just that Stan and Dipper differ very much in the regard of solving mysteries. Stan would rather leave well enough along, Dipper would not.]
I think I could have figured out a lot of it on my own. Honestly, I had a decent idea from the stuff both you and Ozpin have dropped, but ...in the end it was your story to tell. I wanted to respect that.
[A pause and he points at the feed.]
That’s a big deal coming from me, so I hope you appreciate it.
[...Seeing how it was taking that opportunity away from Oz that set the circumstances for the Wizard abandoning them along the snowy mountain pass with nothing but a relic that attracted the beasts that tormented their society and a mountain of questions, Oscar did appreciate it. Likely more than Dipper even realized.]
Thanks. I...
I don't know what I can say to make any of this better, Dipper.
[Oscar began haltingly, his own emotional wounds stinging from revisiting them in an effort to help his friend.]
It probably won't mean much to you right now, but Oz has gotten a lot better. He has... thousands of years of bad habits to work on.
But, that's the case with Immortals. I just hope I don't get that bad.
[What bothers him most is that I just hope I don't get that bad comment. Like Oscar's already resigned to his fate. It bothers him, but causing a stink over that right now isn't going to get them anywhere.]
[It does put into perspective something Dipper did not anticipate being something he would have to think about when dating someone. If Oscar does end up Immortal, what might that mean for him? He decides maybe now isn't the time to spiral into that scenario. That's not what this conversation is about. They've been dating for a month, so thinking about eternity is just not a good idea.]
What's done is done. What we can do now is move forward.
[He takes a deep breath, and looks up at him. His expression is a little uncertain but hopeful.]
If ...you'll still have me, that is. I'm not- ...I'll admit, the Immortal stuff is pretty bonkers but, I'm not planning to go anywhere. Not if you don't want me to.
[The closest Dipper might come to his answer would be in asking Qrow-- and Oscar knew that Qrow had needed weeks of training, trials, and finally trauma to accept Oscar has Himself instead of the next coming of Oz. Had the Long Memory remained in his possession, he would have held fast to it. Instead--
All Oscar could do was shyly flash Dipper a glimpse of his fingernails, still painted a glossy dark blue.]
...I'm wearing your color, aren't I?
[He did not wish to give up, but he also did not want to appear self serving either. The situation was far more delicate than anything he had anticipated at this point, and a part of him still believed that he didn't deserve Dipper.
If Dipper would still take him, Oscar would not refuse.]
[It would have been easy for Oscar to run, but that he didn't speaks volumes of why Dipper wants to give him a chance.]
[Anyway, any coherent thought screeches to a halt when Oscar points out the color of his fingernails. So, he knows that colors are important on Remnant. It's hard not to put that together from just looking at them, let alone observing auras and also just having spent a lot of time around people from Remnant.]
[The significance of someone wearing another person's color hadn't occurred to him, though. It also didn't occur to him that the people of Remnant might assign colors to others that did not come from their world. There's a lot here that catches Dipper off guard.]
[Wait a second. Is that really his color? Is that a dark blue? Huh, he does wear a lot of blue, doesn't he? He never noticed before. That's fascinating. Does that mean Ford has a color? and Stan? Mabel's is probably eye-searing pink, or rainbow. Can rainbow be a whole color??? What are the rules for the color system here??]
[The changes that he saw pass over Dipper's face in the matter of a heartbeat was nothing short of impressive-- and Oscar, feeling like he was the subject of research in that instant, couldn't hide his embarrassed flush. He awkwardly chuckled and tugged at his overgrown hair... ]
I've been sitting on these feelings for a long time.
[God, Oscar is going to kill him right here and now. Oscar liked him for that long? That's absurd! He's lucky people like him in the general sense, he does not know what to do with the idea that Oscar liked him this much for this long and it was right there all along.]
[He is impossibly red, now. Looking away all embarrassed and fidgety. Oscar is privy to these moments of Dipper's where he goes from calm and collected to an absolute sputtering mess in zero-to-sixty.]
So- [He clears his throat.] I-Is. Is that like a thing? Wearing another person's color?
[Oscar stuttered with a bashful grin, well aware that whatever he said at this point would just become the subject of analysis and rambling obsession as Dipper stared at the ceiling in the middle of the night.]
Usually wearing someone else's color shows you've decided to stand beside someone or a cause. Wearing your country's colors can show your pride in your homeland. Wearing your friend or teammate's colors can show that you're fond of them.
[He grinned, glad for the lighter and simpler conversation topic. It was easy for him to think of his friends and the people he had come to think of as family, even in light of the unfortunate news.]
Qrow's Aura is red, but he hardly wears any of it. Another teammate who never made it here, Ren wears mostly green-- but his aura is pink!
[Yep, the journal is open and he is scribbling all this down. He's thinking he'll maybe make a separate journal for Remnant, honestly. He has so much info it's starting to overshadow the deerington stuff.]
Cool. So then ...your color.
[He looks up, squints thoughtfully. He ponders the info Oscar just gave him verses what he's picked up from his aura. He says it's not strictly Aura = Color but he has a good feeling about this guess.]
[There was no denying that it was a favorite color of his. He loved the look of the trees in the forests and mountains surrounding his family's farm in the autumn. The golden yellows, oranges, and reds were as vibrant as any sunset. Sometimes the star shaped leaves of the sweet gum trees would end up pressed between the pages of a book before the season was over. The warmth made him think of fires, both in the fireplace in the dead of winter or at a campsite under the starry summer sky.
Oscar ran a hand through his disheveled hair and cast Dipper an embarrassed look.]
I never really needed to know how to control my Aura before encountering Oz. Sure, I could fight off small Grimm, but I didn't need to know more than that. A sturdy shovel and good aim was all you really needed.
...Since I started training with everyone, I found that it's green.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[No, Dipper hated being helpless, and he hated yielding to a problem he couldn't solve, so. For now, he would put a pin in it, but like hell was he going to give up that easily. He would find a way to help the person he had feelings for, one way or another.]
[Ah, but, now it's Dipper's turn to explain. That grim determination of his turns into something much more unpleasant.]
Ozpin respawned in my uncles body and he did probably the worst thing he could have done while being in there.
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[The flatness of his tone suggested that Oscar was not surprised. This had, after all, happened before within Deerington.]
I'm going to take a couple of guesses, so tell me if I'm wrong. Last time he returned in the head of someone he cared about-- in that case, Ruby. I'm also going to bet that he didn't disclose everything that he can do while riding shot gun. So, he probably ended up in Mr. Ford and either got too deep in his memories or felt he had to take the steering wheel for whatever reason.
I told you. It's not Bill, but it probably looks like it is.
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[Great, so Oscar knows exactly what happened here. At leasyt Oscar isn't trying to apologize for him or justify it. That would have made Dipper really fly off the handle.]
[The salt flows freely now, because Dipper never made it a secret he did not like or trust Oz. It's only particularly frustrating for Dipper, because for a moment, he was starting to come around, he was giving him a chance. Ozpin apparently chose doused it in gasoline and light it on fire, instead. Fucking wizards.]
Yeah, it's worse than Bill! Bill had rules he had to follow! He couldn't just run off with a body unless the person in question gave permission, manipulated or not!
Ozpin went against my Uncles wishes and seized control of his body, knowing that he had a history of being manipulated by something like Bill. So, yeah, we're all pretty mad at him right now!
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I'm not saying this to defend him, [Oscar started quietly,] but he didn't choose to be in there. Last time this happened, he had delayed and taken a longer stay in Death before deciding whether or not he wanted to return.
He did, eventually.
It's not an excuse.
[He sighed.]
I know exactly what you're talking about, because he did it to me. I'd allow him sometimes to explain things to Ruby and the others, but he would leave me in weird positions-- like with my hand on someone's shoulder, or about to fall off a chair..
There were times he took over without my permission, too. When there was something dangerous, usually. I wasn't good in a fight at all at that point, so I'd probably be dead if he hadn't taken over.
...It's still frustrating. I passed out after the first few fights, too.
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[Dipper shakes his head.]
That's such crap, why does he think he can just puppet people around like they're toys. Does he have any concept at all of agency? Or boundaries, or free will? Or does he think he's above it all and can do what he likes?
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Great Uncle Ford says ...that we shouldn't trust him or you anymore. Not Qrow or Gerry, either.
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He didn't know that circumstances-- but he did know that Oz knew better than to lie to people he wanted to trust him. ]
... Maybe he's right, [Oscar said quietly.]
Qrow can only turn into a bird because Oz gave him the power to do so. He and I have both been working on helping Oz with these problems for months. Gerry, though...
I don't know his story. He's not from Remnant. He does have some kind of arrangement with... An entity, I guess. I don't know the details, though.
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[Oscar's reply gives him pause, though, and for a moment he isn't sure what to say. He didn't expect him to agree, and suddenly the anger quells to make way for something else. Dread? Worry? Something like fear grips him suddenly.]
Do you really think I shouldn't trust you anymore?
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Oscar knew this fact intimately. 'Like-minded Souls' meant more than having similar values and beliefs, he had learned. It suggested a greater similarity in beliefs and patterns-- both in their morals and behaviors. ]
I want to trust you, Dipper.
[He stated objectively, drawing from the well of still waters he knew existed deep in his soul. Sometimes, the easiest methods were the simplest, the softest... ]
And I want to see Gravity Falls. But, I can't make you trust me if you don't, and I won't ask you to either.
... He did the same thing to us, you know.
[Oscar added-- sounding tired and small.]
We had to force the truth out of him. I wrestled with him for my body, and found the keyword for the Lamp. We asked Jinn for the truth he was hiding... And, when confronted with the reality that his secret was out, he buried himself away.
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[Dipper says it like he is quoting someone else's words, which he is. They were perhaps the wisest thing to be written in that dusty journal after it was all said and done.]
[Ozpin would have a long, long way to go to re-earn the trust he broke with their family, but that isn't the case with Oscar. To put the two together would be to deny their identities and Dipper wasn't about to do that, especially not now. Oscar had answered all of his questions, and met him earnestly, and Dipper thinks that has more merit than anything.]
I'm just as complicit in this, you know. I let you keep your secrets, even knowing how potentially terrible they were. However, when the time came, you were honest.
I won't charge you for the things he's done. I won't push you two together like you're the same. Ozpin has a lot to answer for, and it'll be his decision what he does from there. That's not on you. So...
I'm making the choice to trust you.
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[It was more than he deserved.
On a fundamental level, Oscar still believed himself to be partly responsible for Ozpin's emotional recovery or lack thereof. Like with Ironwood, he knew that Oz had exceedingly few allies who knew his truth. Whether it was fear of abandonment or fear of loss over and over that drove Oz's decisions, Oscar didn't know.
All he knew for certain was that Oz had committed every lie, every misdeed in an effort to spare himself further pain and make the weight of eternity more bearable.]
Thanks, Dipper. I...
I actually didn't hide as much as you think.
[He cast the other boy a chagrinned look.]
Stan actually had clues to most of it.
[The fact that one grunkle was 'Stan' and the other 'Mr. Ford' spoke volumes of the differences between Oscar's relationships with them.]
Since I left the farm, there hasn't been too many people who treat me as myself, even here. I've become... Too old for people my age, in a way. But I'm still me. And Stan... Kept asking me questions about myself.
Not to many people have done that.
[He chuckled-- a wry, bitter sound that broke the tension. ]
I'm surprised he didn't figure any of it out. Or, at least ask you about the things that sounded weird to him.
The two of you definitely could have figured all this out.
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[As Stan comes into the conversation, Dipper look surprised, then he deadpans, huffs in frustration and shakes his head.]
No, that’s Grunkle Stan for you. He’ll listen but he won’t go around meddling with other people’s business. He isn’t one to go spilling other people’s secrets. I’m not surprised he didn’t come to me about any of it.
[It’s not even a question of whether they were close or not. They certainly were now, much more than they were back home. It’s just that Stan and Dipper differ very much in the regard of solving mysteries. Stan would rather leave well enough along, Dipper would not.]
I think I could have figured out a lot of it on my own. Honestly, I had a decent idea from the stuff both you and Ozpin have dropped, but ...in the end it was your story to tell. I wanted to respect that.
[A pause and he points at the feed.]
That’s a big deal coming from me, so I hope you appreciate it.
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Thanks. I...
I don't know what I can say to make any of this better, Dipper.
[Oscar began haltingly, his own emotional wounds stinging from revisiting them in an effort to help his friend.]
It probably won't mean much to you right now, but Oz has gotten a lot better. He has... thousands of years of bad habits to work on.
But, that's the case with Immortals. I just hope I don't get that bad.
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[It does put into perspective something Dipper did not anticipate being something he would have to think about when dating someone. If Oscar does end up Immortal, what might that mean for him? He decides maybe now isn't the time to spiral into that scenario. That's not what this conversation is about. They've been dating for a month, so thinking about eternity is just not a good idea.]
What's done is done. What we can do now is move forward.
[He takes a deep breath, and looks up at him. His expression is a little uncertain but hopeful.]
If ...you'll still have me, that is. I'm not- ...I'll admit, the Immortal stuff is pretty bonkers but, I'm not planning to go anywhere. Not if you don't want me to.
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All Oscar could do was shyly flash Dipper a glimpse of his fingernails, still painted a glossy dark blue.]
...I'm wearing your color, aren't I?
[He did not wish to give up, but he also did not want to appear self serving either. The situation was far more delicate than anything he had anticipated at this point, and a part of him still believed that he didn't deserve Dipper.
If Dipper would still take him, Oscar would not refuse.]
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[Anyway, any coherent thought screeches to a halt when Oscar points out the color of his fingernails. So, he knows that colors are important on Remnant. It's hard not to put that together from just looking at them, let alone observing auras and also just having spent a lot of time around people from Remnant.]
[The significance of someone wearing another person's color hadn't occurred to him, though. It also didn't occur to him that the people of Remnant might assign colors to others that did not come from their world. There's a lot here that catches Dipper off guard.]
[But in a good way. His face burns bright red.]
I- You-
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[He needs to do research.]
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Your nails have been that color for a long time!
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I've been sitting on these feelings for a long time.
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[He is impossibly red, now. Looking away all embarrassed and fidgety. Oscar is privy to these moments of Dipper's where he goes from calm and collected to an absolute sputtering mess in zero-to-sixty.]
So- [He clears his throat.] I-Is. Is that like a thing? Wearing another person's color?
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[Oscar stuttered with a bashful grin, well aware that whatever he said at this point would just become the subject of analysis and rambling obsession as Dipper stared at the ceiling in the middle of the night.]
Usually wearing someone else's color shows you've decided to stand beside someone or a cause. Wearing your country's colors can show your pride in your homeland. Wearing your friend or teammate's colors can show that you're fond of them.
... It can mean a lot of things.
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A loaded metaphor, fascinating.
[He looks thoughtful for a second.]
The colors- Actually. I've noticed that whatever color a person from Remnant favors usually matches their Aura. Is that it?
[The eyepatch really was useful for snooping on stuff he otherwise wouldn't know.]
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[He grinned, glad for the lighter and simpler conversation topic. It was easy for him to think of his friends and the people he had come to think of as family, even in light of the unfortunate news.]
Qrow's Aura is red, but he hardly wears any of it. Another teammate who never made it here, Ren wears mostly green-- but his aura is pink!
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Cool. So then ...your color.
[He looks up, squints thoughtfully. He ponders the info Oscar just gave him verses what he's picked up from his aura. He says it's not strictly Aura = Color but he has a good feeling about this guess.]
It's orange, right?
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[There was no denying that it was a favorite color of his. He loved the look of the trees in the forests and mountains surrounding his family's farm in the autumn. The golden yellows, oranges, and reds were as vibrant as any sunset. Sometimes the star shaped leaves of the sweet gum trees would end up pressed between the pages of a book before the season was over. The warmth made him think of fires, both in the fireplace in the dead of winter or at a campsite under the starry summer sky.
Oscar ran a hand through his disheveled hair and cast Dipper an embarrassed look.]
I never really needed to know how to control my Aura before encountering Oz. Sure, I could fight off small Grimm, but I didn't need to know more than that. A sturdy shovel and good aim was all you really needed.
...Since I started training with everyone, I found that it's green.
Like Oz.
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